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TO MARK MENTAL HEALTH ACTION DAY, WE ASKED SOME MEMBERS OF THE WELLBEING COMMUNITY TO SHARE SOME ACTIONS THEY TAKE TO PRIORITISE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. TO MARK MENTAL HEALTH ACTION DAY, WE ASKED SOME MEMBERS OF THE WELLBEING COMMUNITY TO SHARE SOME ACTIONS THEY TAKE TO PRIORITISE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH.

I realised that if I wanted to regain my mental health I must unlearn denial of anger.

“Depression is anger turned inwards” – my Psychiatrist.

Like many people, particularly women, I grew up believing I should never be angry. Various influences taught me that it is bad to be an angry woman — she is ugly, untrustworthy, and unhealthy. I became expert at denying myself anything resembling anger, avoiding conflict, taking responsibility for maintaining harmony, and never having a strong opinion.

At 33, I experienced a profound loss that triggered a major depressive breakdown. Sitting in front of my psychiatrist week after week, I gradually began to understand his statement. Anger is an essential step in the grieving process, but because I couldn’t allow myself to even acknowledge anger I wasn’t able to grieve and move on from my loss. Over the years, a repressive toxicity collected inside me, condensed over decades, and had finally imploded. I was pulled into a blackhole of depression where my ability to feel anything was gone. All that existed was a robotic sense of nothingness. I was trapped in the vacuum of depression for 13 months.

I became expert at denying myself anything resembling anger, avoiding conflict, taking responsibility for maintaining harmony, and never having a strong opinion.

Several years later, I’ve experienced several different types of grief including the loss of: a belief system, people I’ve loved, faith in those I’ve trusted, an organisation and team I co-created, a perception of my identity and contribution in the world. With each loss the invasive thoughts of depression and anxiety attacks have resurfaced.

While I’m still terrified of depression and what it takes away from me each time, the length of my episodes have decreased as I’ve gathered tools that increase my awareness of when I’m repressing anger and skills to redirect the process towards allowing myself to feel and work through it.

The journey is often one step forward and two steps back as I clumsily learn to explore expressions of anger. But I’m making messy progress.

Tools that help me realise I’m repressing anger :

Weekly Therapy: Being completely honest with my psychologist about my symptoms and thoughts.
Keeping a list of my cognitive biases and unhelpful assumptions that I can refer to and ask myself if I am unwittingly applying them. A few example: I must never show anger; I must always improve a situation; I must not be a burden to others).
Let others around me know what signals to look for and how to gently ask me if that might be what’s happening when they notice those signals.
Dream analysis with my psychologist or psychiatrist.
Time in nature to allow space for subconscious thoughts to rise to consciousness.

Skills I use to redirect myself towards working through anger:

Saying out loud to someone I can trust, ‘I’m angry–here’s why…’.
Writing about why I might be angry and why I might be repressing that reaction.
Gradual exposure therapy exercises set by my psychologist.
Reading about why it’s not unusual to repress anger and the benefits of unlearning it (the book, Rage Becomes Her was a great example of this).
Meditation focused on awareness and acceptance of anger.
Controlled destruction (I went to a smash room on one occasion; took a hammer to a watermelon in my back garden on another).
Finding those who understand the type of situation that made me angry and discussing to gauge if anger seems to be a normal or appropriate response.
Asking others what their strategies are for appropriately and healthily acknowledging, expressing, and processing anger.

My hope is to eventually feel comfortable in acknowledging, experiencing, and expressing anger in a way I’m confident is productive and appropriate —regardless of what other people think. Because what could be more beautiful, honest, and healthy than being able to embrace the entire emotional spectrum of the very human condition of love and loss.

Bio

Jessamyn Shams-Lau was previously co-CEO of the Peery Foundation, where she implements and advocates for grantee-centric philanthropy, aiming to minimize the power dynamic inherent to grant-making. She is creator of Do Good Better, a university curriculum for social change leaders, and co-wrote and illustrated the book Unicorns Unite: How Nonprofits and Foundations Can Build EPIC Partnerships with Jane Leu and Vu Le.

GUIDING NEW DAILY RITUALS IN COVID-19 AND BEYONDGUIDING NEW DAILY RITUALS IN COVID-19 AND BEYOND

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By Alana Cookman, Organisational Wellbeing Lead for The Wellbeing Project

“I miss my commute” is something I thought no-one would ever say. But now it feels like everyone is saying it. Why is something that was the bane of many a working day, suddenly being remembered as a cherished time? Did the crowded metro provide that much needed human contact? Perhaps it is one of the many everyday things we have lost and are mourning. It’s actually quite likely that we are missing the transition from Place A to Place B because it allowed us time to depart Role A and psychologically and emotionally arrive in Role B.

It turns out that role transitions pre-pandemic had a much more important task in our everyday lives than we gave them credit for. They supported crucial psychological detachment and a mindset shift that we are fast realizing is missing, as we live out all our roles from one confined place. Whether it was a walk in the park, or a gym session after a stressful day, or listening to music on our way to work, these activities, whether accidentally or intentionally ritualized, help support us ‘land’ in our various roles in a way that feels spacious – with less chance of stress and tension from the various parts seeping in to each other. How do you manage the crossing of your roles now? A cup of tea, a five minute meditation, a listen to your favorite podcast on a walk round the block, as you used to do on your morning commute, that helps you get into ‘work mode’? My daughter misses her many daily and weekly rituals from school. The activities that separate morning and afternoon, play time and work time, celebration and connection, endings and beginnings. The ‘golden time’ that makes work time that much more motivating. Ritualised activities can be invigorating or calming depending on what you need, and provide a welcome element of predictability for centering and grounding in times of such flux, and for honouring and acknowledging the change and loss happening so rapidly around us.

“Ritual practice is the activity of cultivating extraordinary ordinariness. It is necessary, because human activity has a kind of entropy about it; life, like love, runs down. Things get tiresome and difficult. Body and soul cry out for something different, hence the impetus to ritualize. But if the ritually extraordinary becomes a goal or is severed from ordinariness, it loses its capacity to transform, which, after all, is what rites of passage are supposed to do.” Ronal Grimes

There is a finer sense of awareness on what nourishes us, energises us and depletes us, as we tend to all parts of our lives in one physical space, too. Our shifting understanding of what work-life balance means to us is on our minds. What do we want this to look like when some more predictable routine returns? Rather than think of work-life balance as another thing to be achieved or fixed, it’s helpful to think of it as a continuum, with integration on one end and segmentation on another. While we are more on the integrated end of things at the moment, what can we learn from segmentors?

This is where the concept of micro transitions come in handy, because they help ease or put up the boundaries we need to support us transition from one role to another, depending on where on the continuum you want to sit. And that’s the beautiful thing with continuums; polarities aren’t problems to be solved, but rather parts of the same whole that can be managed, depending on your own needs and contexts. Polarity mapping is a tool that helps us adopt a ‘both, and’ as opposed to an ‘either,or’ mindset, something that is increasingly helpful in these complex times where many outcomes are likely to emerge in ways we aren’t accustomed to. It is a helpful process to use when you are faced with what seems like an opposing or contradictory situation and need a moment to reflect on where feels like a healthier place for you to be, both personally and in your professional lives.

The urgency of attending to immediate, and often unknown, needs (whilst being very distracted) during the first two months of the Covid-19 pandemic unfolding, is making way for different concerns, as we continue on in our worlds of ‘sheltering in place’. Many people emerging from what felt like a months of back-to-back Zoom calls are craving an element of sustainability to their days and weeks ahead. Accepting a possible longer haul at home has us wondering how we can create space in between our calls, roles, days and weekends, to enable a healthier way of being, working, and living. How are you showing up and switching off in this time of blurred boundaries? What do your in-between spaces look like? Do you even have any? Are your kids sharing breakfast with your team in little squares on your laptop screen? Are your work issues seeping into your relationships? How many times have you checked email in bed recently? Perhaps you aren’t working right now, which could be causing worry or guilt. Some of us don’t want to do anything and are anxious we aren’t being creative, productive or even reflective enough. Some of us want to be doing much more to help others in more pressing need. We are craving human connection but are drained by virtual meetings. It seems our working selves are in a flux of paradox and polarity.

Even though lockdowns are easing globally, it’s very likely that it will be a slow process and remote work in some form, is here to stay for many of us. Given this largely unplanned merger of life and work, it’s a good time to think about how we approach our different roles, wherever you sit on the compress or expanse scale. How are you embodying your various roles in ways that you want to, without leaving the physical space you are in? How are you creating in-between spaces, or micro-transitions, that help you show up and switch off in ways that support you and those around you? Can you share any rituals that support these transitions in your extraordinary everyday life? Being well and working well do not have to be separate ends of the pole.

What differences can you make now that your body and soul will be thankful for? Whatever your answer might be, know that this is the moment where you can design the new you.

About the author:
Alana Cookman is Organisational Wellbeing Lead at The Wellbeing Project which is exploring and demonstrating how individual and organisational wellbeing can be cultivated, to catalyse a shift towards a more human-centred culture in the social change sector.

How To Find Peace Of MindHow To Find Peace Of Mind

Peace of mind and harmony – one of the prerequisites for finding a complete and happy life. We feel more confident and full when we are in a state of inner peace! This is the state when we are balanced, attentive, and conscious. Being in critical situations or circumstances that are not comfortable for us, peace begins to leave us. But having resumed classes that help to find inner silence, life is gradually improving again. Many people pass through this circle. From this, we can conclude: “If you do not have time for rest, it means that it is necessary for you.”

What is peace of mind, and why do we need it?

Peace of mind is a state of harmony with oneself and with the whole world. But above all, the order is a balance. If we compare the soul with a musical instrument, then the inner calm state is when the strings of the soul sound harmoniously and naturally. The sound is beautiful and pleasant for everyone! But when we are tense and fussy, the music will be strained, unnatural, and unpleasant.

Staying in the peace of mind, we are full of energy and in a good mood! We efficiently manage to resist the illnesses and bad attitude of others, and we are better at doing any work. We become more creative; we analyze better and solve problems faster. When peace of mind leaves us, and we get out of balance, the energy drops, we attract depression and illness. During the internal stress, we do not get much as we would like, and we make more mistakes.

Every time as soon as we get angry, fussing in vain, or fall into depression, etc., we seem to spill precious energy from our vessel of the soul. This energy is challenging to replenish! Think twice before the next time, indiscreetly, get out of yourself, start to get nervous, angry, think negatively, think, speak, and fuss about it in vain.

Peace of mind is a natural state for a person; that is why it is so necessary and desirable for us! When it disappears, we begin to experience discomfort and uncertainty. On the subconscious mind, we want to return to this state. There is a desire to “be yourself” or take a walk in the park to restore spiritual harmony.

The inner peace of mind is confused by many with lethargy, laziness, or apathy. But it is not so! You can make an active external activity while maintaining inner peace. An event even, as a rule, turns out to be an order of magnitude better when you are in a state of inner calm. This is the state in which you are collected, aware, and attentive.

Only within yourself can one find peace and confidence. There is no peace and stability in the world around us, and everything around is in a state of constant changeability. How can we cope with the unpredictability of life? Only by accepting it! Tell yourself: “I am ready for all surprises and meet them with calm clarity.” Make a decision: “Whatever happens, I can do it in the best way possible.” What is happening around is not so important, what is happening inside is essential! The ship does not sink when it is in water, and it drops when water is in it. Whatever the fuss and chaos you are in, it is much more critical to maintain inner peace of mind. You lose if you lose your awareness, tense, angry, or hurt. What matters is not the circumstances, but how we react to them!

How to keep the mind in peace under any circumstances?

• Adoption. Take everything as it is; it will give you ease. Learn to accept people and circumstances as they are, without the desire to adjust to their standards and wishes. Also, learn to accept and love yourself as you are, with all the mistakes and shortcomings!
• Attention. Remove the focus of attention from the stimulus and focus it on yourself, on your inner world, on the sensations in the body. Abstracted from external factors and irritants.
• Deep relaxation. Remove anxiety, haste, anger, resentment, etc. If there is tension in the body, remove it. Be inner relaxed!
• Breath. Watch your breath; breath evenly and calmly, with a full chest. Exhalation should not be shorter in the duration of inhalation. Take a deep breath and exhale. Keep breathing evenly and measured.
• Awareness. Be as conscious and collected as possible.
• Think positive. Stop creating negative thoughts, and if such people have still made their way into the consciousness, then watch them, watch how they leave you and dissolve, like waves from a stone thrown into the lake. Try to think well of others, about yourself, about life.
• Respect. Respect yourself and others.
• Confidence. Be confident in yourself. Encourage yourself; tell yourself, “I will succeed.”
• Naturalness. Try to be natural, relaxed, and liberated.
• Smile. Smile often. Smile always looking in the mirror, communicating with other people. Smile from the heart and be in a joyful mood. Treat everything with humor!

Be, without unnecessary thoughts. Be present in the current moment. Be a bystander. Watch the events taking place removed; track the causes of events, without feelings. Just be.

If you want to protect yourself from all adversity, you have chosen the wrong planet. Here we are always faced with situations pushing us out of the comfort zone and unbalancing. We must always be prepared for this challenge. There is always lesson to extract, a positive experience, and an opportunity to move on!

About the author

Melisa Marzett is a content writer who is currently working for http://www.essay-editor.net/ and enjoying life just the way it is. She lives in harmony and peace with herself and loves what she does for a living. She loves to move around, and she cannot stand still, traveling is something that excites her. Also, she is a healthy lifestyle and a gym enthusiast, so she makes it to where she can find a sports center to go to whatever place she visits.

WE ARE THRILLED TO START EXPLORING THE ISSUE OF INNER WELLBEING IN THE FIELD OF SOCIAL CHANGE MORE BROADLY – LOOKING AT “HOW ARE WE DOING?” – TOGETHER WITH IMPACT HUB AND THE FORD FOUNDATION, WHO ARE TWO KEY ANCHORS WITHIN THIS 6-MONTH SURVEY PROCESS. WE ARE THRILLED TO START EXPLORING THE ISSUE OF INNER WELLBEING IN THE FIELD OF SOCIAL CHANGE MORE BROADLY – LOOKING AT “HOW ARE WE DOING?” – TOGETHER WITH IMPACT HUB AND THE FORD FOUNDATION, WHO ARE TWO KEY ANCHORS WITHIN THIS 6-MONTH SURVEY PROCESS.

By Catalina Cock Duque

Building a peaceful, democratic and inclusive country is a long term challenge which requires systemic changes to face the roots of our problems. Such changes imply transformations in politics, power, relationships, attitudes and values. In order to achieve this, alliances between the public, private and social sectors are necessary, as well as between leaders with diverse approaches who can support alliances to adopt new ways of doing things.

This may sound obvious, but working with different actors can be difficult. For instance, the building of trust is a great challenge and, as has been expressed by Katherine Milligan and Nicole Schwab in their article “The Inner Path to Become a Systems Entrepreneur”, competition over financial resources for social investment discourage collaboration, and there could be rivalries over who gets the credit within a coalition around a specific issue. How to cultivate a context where egos can be left aside, and the common interest comes before individual interest? Such question must be answered in order to achieve structural changes.

There is increasing evidence that the inner condition of a leader is crucial to achieve meaningful changes, and that it can be cultivated through a path leading to greater awareness of oneself and to inner well-being. Along the same line, great names in the field of social entrepreneurship such as Skoll, Synergos, Ashoka and Schwab Foundation, are promoting a global movement, through their “Wellbeing Project”, to support inner growth as an essential aspect of social change.

There are many options to advance along an inner path, including a deep process of self-knowledge. Getting to know ourselves in all our dimensions allows us to project our greater strengths and to work on our weaknesses. The mere fact of becoming aware of the latter may allow us greater control over our emotions, such as fear or anger, which in turn may undermine confidence and hamper the building of bridges between different sectors. Through inner work, confidence in oneself may be developed, as well as the ability to listen, empathize and follow your intuition, among other crucial skills in the construction of common projects departing from difference.

Investing in the inner well-being of leaders is a way to support the sustainability of their initiatives, or, is it possible for a leader to reach his or her maximum potential when emotional health is at risk or human relations are weak? Will it be possible for his or her impact and leadership to prevail in the long term? I don’t think so. When people invest in their personal well-being, when their deeper purpose is clear, when their greater inner connection is achieved, they reach their extended-self or their greater-self; according to Peggy Dulany, founder of Synergos, such people have an open heart, which can feel gratefulness and access more creativity; they are connected with a greater whole, they know who they are and they like who they are.

If we get closer to our extended self we can feel more confident and connected in a broader sense, and thus explore our maximum potential as human beings. This is crucial to building high potential teams, networks and movements, to overcoming egos and personal interests, and to understanding the complexity of our reality from different perspectives. Only by advancing along our individual path, will we be able to advance in the political, economic, social and cultural changes Colombia requires to build a fairer, more peaceful and inclusive society.

Creating Art and Peace in Africa with Green String Network

INTERVIEW WITH GREEN STRING NETWORK INTERVIEW WITH GREEN STRING NETWORK

What is the Green String Network?

Green String Network (GSN) is an African based organization. We are a network of like-minded individuals and organizations working on developing trauma-informed peacebuilding. We believe that there is a direct link between levels of trauma in vulnerable communities and the challenges faced with justice, reconciliation, security, and overall social wellbeing.

How does your work connect to inner wellbeing and social change?

Violence begins with a thought, yet few interventions focus on the mental wellbeing of at-risk communities, and institutions like the police. GSN concentrates on trauma as a root cause of instability not just a consequence of violence and instability. By connecting our inner wellbeing to issues of social justice and change we believe we are mentally and emotionally preparing those working on issues of violence, neglect, abuse and other difficult issues with a more holistic tool kit.

How do you believe art can be used for social impact?

GSN understands the transformative power of art. We utilize art to depict the experiences of our program participants. In using art as a source of individual reflection and communal dialogue, we strengthen relationships and raise awareness regarding violence, adversity as well as healing practices.

Please tell us about these individual stories that the artists have created.

The artists were given a summary of The Wellbeing Project’s research on “Wellbeing for social entrepreneurs.” From reading the research, the artists developed a set of stories.

The two artists were from Kenya and South Sudan, GSN has worked with both several times in the past.

David Radoli grew up in Mombasa but went to school in Nairobi. He is a graduate of the Technical University of Kenya. Radoli, as he prefers to be called, has been in the media/art industry for over 18 years. He has extensive experience in publishing, advertising, storyboarding and copyrighting. Due to his versatility in arts, he has worked for McCann Erickson, a leading advertising agency. Radoli has a strong preference for working with ink, pen, and watercolors. He has a passion for painting human figures and is an excellent caricaturist.

Deng Majid Chol Deng recalls drawing at home and enjoying pictures in the books at school. He improved his drawing skills initially by copying the picture and was encouraged by his family, who liked his drawings of daily life. Later, he gained a scholarship to study at Nasser University in Tripoli, Libya. It was a totally new environment for him and he was struck by the uniformity of opinions. After initially working using his Chemistry degree, he became connected with The Roots Project in 2011 and now displays his paintings there as well as holding exhibits in other locations.

What is the value of using artists to communicate on this subject?

An artist interprets a story based on his/her own life experiences. Images which emerge are not prescriptive and allow those who view them, their own interpretations based on their own life experiences. Two people can look at the same painting and each sees a completely different story in the painting.

What is wellbeing for GSN?

Wellbeing is an approach targeting the emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual and social aspects of the human experience. It is about feeling happy, healthy, socially connected, and purposeful.

Are there any learnings you would like to share with other organizations and communities?

1. Healing is a critical part of stabilization, development, governance, and peacebuilding processes. Finding a way to work through personal pain can support the larger communities healing process.

2. For the leaders of the social change movements, understand that what you experience continues impacting you — your ability to love, show emotions and empathy. Do not let the violence and adversity you are challenging change you to be someone you are not. Take the time for your own self-care and connect to a larger community of changemakers. Take the time you need with your family and other friends. Find joy outside of your work. And be kind and lovely to yourself.

How can people connect with GSN?

Follow our work on our website — we will be starting a new blog shortly about the stories of transformation taking place in our programs.
Or on:
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``IT'S YOU AND ONLY YOU THAT CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.`` ``IT'S YOU AND ONLY YOU THAT CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.``

By Alice Gatignol

Cecilia Flores-Oebanda is the president and executive director of Visayan Forum, a non-profit, non-governmental organisation based in the Philippines. Visayan Forum focuses on promoting the development, welfare and rights of marginalised people to end human trafficking. Cecilia and Visayan, now called Voice for the Free, have trained more than 1000 collaborators in the work against human trafficking and have helped more than 60,000 victims.

The story of Cecilia is one of the accumulation of trauma, ignored for years, followed by an epiphany, a renaissance. She was about 15 years old when she became a youth leader in a politically unstable Philippines, governed by a president considered a tyrant. However, Cecilia was determined to fight. At the heart of the fight, groups were organised to tell stories about liberation theology, and eventually Cecilia became one of three female commanders of the guerilla movement. In the middle of all this violence, the news landed: Cecilia was pregnant with her first child. “It is difficult to be pregnant when you are a guerilla fighter in the mountains,” she shares. When Cecilia gave birth, she was forced to give up her child. To make the situation harder, this was when she was informed of her mother passing away. Losing all hope, Cecilia hit rock bottom, and lost herself in the process.

Life on the battlefield carried on, and before she knew it, Cecilia was pregnant with her second child. She reminisces solemnly about the day on the battlefield when her loyal assistant tried to protect her 8-month pregnant body in a hole he dug with his bare hands, in the midst of gun fires and screams. “He was still calling my name when he died.” Seconds later, Cecilia and other men were captured and put into prison. There, she started her family, giving birth to her second child. The family spent four years in prison. Upon her liberation, Cecilia decided to definitely close this chapter of fighting and violence.

By then, her family was in Manila, and every Saturday, Cecilia attended meetings at the University to discuss current ongoings in provinces, and what needed to be done. There was a recurring theme that alarmed them all: the missing children from various regions, who were said to have come to work in Manila. However, nobody knew where they were. Many of them were victims of prostitution, many girls were sold, raped and used. Cecilia’s focus turned to child protection, and her battle became a peaceful one; one for equality, justice and safety.

The Wellbeing Project enabled Cecilia to reflect upon herself: her life, her purpose, her sacrifices, and those of others. As a participant of the Inner Development Program, Cecilia raised and released the trauma that had locked up inside herself throughout the years, to mourn the pain, to listen to her sufferings. “I finally got to process what was going on in my life, for all these years; I had been like a headless chicken who continued to run and run and run…”

“The Wellbeing Project provided me a safe space where I could pause and reflect — a space where I was able to heal the wounds I have incurred throughout my life as a freedom fighter, an activist, a friend, a daughter and as a mother. Choosing to become a freedom fighter and advocating against slavery and human trafficking was a choice which gave me heavy weight to carry and endure. Wellbeing helped me reach closure and move past the previous chapters of my life. It gave me a deeper sense of humanity and liberated me from guilt and unnecessary stress that I have been dealing with. I was able to process my brokenness, trauma, pain, and loss. My time with Wellbeing has been a gift of a lifetime and I’m extremely grateful.”