``IT'S YOU AND ONLY YOU THAT CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.`` ``IT'S YOU AND ONLY YOU THAT CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.``

By Alice Gatignol

Cecilia Flores-Oebanda is the president and executive director of Visayan Forum, a non-profit, non-governmental organisation based in the Philippines. Visayan Forum focuses on promoting the development, welfare and rights of marginalised people to end human trafficking. Cecilia and Visayan, now called Voice for the Free, have trained more than 1000 collaborators in the work against human trafficking and have helped more than 60,000 victims.

The story of Cecilia is one of the accumulation of trauma, ignored for years, followed by an epiphany, a renaissance. She was about 15 years old when she became a youth leader in a politically unstable Philippines, governed by a president considered a tyrant. However, Cecilia was determined to fight. At the heart of the fight, groups were organised to tell stories about liberation theology, and eventually Cecilia became one of three female commanders of the guerilla movement. In the middle of all this violence, the news landed: Cecilia was pregnant with her first child. “It is difficult to be pregnant when you are a guerilla fighter in the mountains,” she shares. When Cecilia gave birth, she was forced to give up her child. To make the situation harder, this was when she was informed of her mother passing away. Losing all hope, Cecilia hit rock bottom, and lost herself in the process.

Life on the battlefield carried on, and before she knew it, Cecilia was pregnant with her second child. She reminisces solemnly about the day on the battlefield when her loyal assistant tried to protect her 8-month pregnant body in a hole he dug with his bare hands, in the midst of gun fires and screams. “He was still calling my name when he died.” Seconds later, Cecilia and other men were captured and put into prison. There, she started her family, giving birth to her second child. The family spent four years in prison. Upon her liberation, Cecilia decided to definitely close this chapter of fighting and violence.

By then, her family was in Manila, and every Saturday, Cecilia attended meetings at the University to discuss current ongoings in provinces, and what needed to be done. There was a recurring theme that alarmed them all: the missing children from various regions, who were said to have come to work in Manila. However, nobody knew where they were. Many of them were victims of prostitution, many girls were sold, raped and used. Cecilia’s focus turned to child protection, and her battle became a peaceful one; one for equality, justice and safety.

The Wellbeing Project enabled Cecilia to reflect upon herself: her life, her purpose, her sacrifices, and those of others. As a participant of the Inner Development Program, Cecilia raised and released the trauma that had locked up inside herself throughout the years, to mourn the pain, to listen to her sufferings. “I finally got to process what was going on in my life, for all these years; I had been like a headless chicken who continued to run and run and run…”

“The Wellbeing Project provided me a safe space where I could pause and reflect — a space where I was able to heal the wounds I have incurred throughout my life as a freedom fighter, an activist, a friend, a daughter and as a mother. Choosing to become a freedom fighter and advocating against slavery and human trafficking was a choice which gave me heavy weight to carry and endure. Wellbeing helped me reach closure and move past the previous chapters of my life. It gave me a deeper sense of humanity and liberated me from guilt and unnecessary stress that I have been dealing with. I was able to process my brokenness, trauma, pain, and loss. My time with Wellbeing has been a gift of a lifetime and I’m extremely grateful.”

“EMPATHY ON YOUR OWN SELF THAT REFLECTS ON OTHERS… THAT IS WELLBEING.” “EMPATHY ON YOUR OWN SELF THAT REFLECTS ON OTHERS… THAT IS WELLBEING.”

By Carmen Alvarez Marcos

Historically, mothers have been a fundamentally definitive piece both in our intimate narrative and for our conventional understanding of family structure. However, for some time the mother figure and the entire concept of family has been shifting towards a more complex yet freer, inclusive and comprehensive form. The protagonist of this story challenged the traditional perception of mothers by choosing to become a role model, respecting her own beliefs of what is needed for society and serving as an example of community devotion to her family.

Although they are rare, some people work in a selfless manner to serve humanity. Quratul Ain Bekhtaeari is undoubtedly one of these people. Born in 1949 after the creation of Pakistan in 1947, her parents decided their children would grow up in the humble and modest environment offered by a refugee camp on the outskirts of Karachi. At the age of sixteen her parents arranged her marriage to a dental surgeon. Soon after her marriage, Quratul and her husband had three children. Sensitized since an early age towards social injustices and shocked by the destruction of the Indo-Pakistani war of 1971 after East Pakistan became independent Bangladesh, Quratul Ain decided to devote herself fully to her community. As she puts it, “how could I bear this half of the country gone and what was I doing?”

Quratul Ain’s dedication and perseverance inevitably caused her to drift away from her household duties to the point where she was forced to make a decision. She recalls that she was, “hardly at home. I was not the same mother. I was not the same wife. I was not the same daughter-in-law. Yeah. You know what? It changed me.” “I was really not there at home the way I used to be, the way I used to be a dedicated mother and a wife and doing all the social thing, the family.” And so it was that Quratul Ain was given the choice become a conventional mother and wife or leave. Quratul Ain: “I had no choice, but to leave”.

From 1978 to 1989 she continued her community work as a researcher, volunteer, organizer and coordinator within the settlements around Karachi while completing her B.A. degree. During this time, she was heavily involved in major social contributions, mainly focused on public health and sanitation. After finishing her B.A. Quratul worked on providing basic health care and education access to newly arrived refugees. She finished a Master’s degree and Ph.D to continue working on establishing over 2,000 primary schools for girls in Balochistan, where around 200,000 students would come to be enrolled. Frustrated with the dependence of local projects on government, academic sponsoring and infrastructure, Qurarul Ain proposed a model that would allow local education initiatives to flourish autonomously in a localized fashion. In 1998, she founded the Institute for Development and Practices (IDSP) to teach youth about community development and cooperation.

Looking back, Quratul Ain realises there was a period of her life where she found herself at a balanced moment where she finally gained the strength to acknowledge her family needs, emotional needs and the consequences that her leaving had meant for them. However, her inability to express difficult emotions had always been an obstacle when addressing or homing in on these family issues: “…I don’t know how to be unhappy even if I am now unhappy, my gesture, my face it doesn’t show.” Noticing the lack of attention given to her family and the possibility of her children carrying deeper scars due to her absence, she decided to focus her attention once again on her family. This decision coincided precisely in time with her introduction to the Inner Development Programme from Wellbeing Project.

During one of the three programme retreats she was especially grateful to uncover the common similarities found across all participants involved: “People who are connected with you, around you, are also carrying a pain that might be created by you or the situation or by anybody, but everybody is there in it, it’s not only you. So that humbled me a lot.” She specifically emphasises her improvement towards listening, perceiving, and reflecting towards herself and others “I am now a better listener to my children or from wherever I want to do this healing from. I’m a better listener, I’m becoming better at perception and impression and reflection, I take time, I take things, and I’ve got enough to reflect upon.” Quatul Ain believes she needs to pursue a continuous engagement towards inner work in order to embody it in a more “existential way.” For her, wellbeing means emotional liberation, a profound connection to one’s feelings and emotions that allows you to better relate to those you care about, the ability to channel all emotions in a loving and compassionate way that shows empathy for both yourself and consequently to others. She affirms that wellbeing is a journey she will continue to pursue far beyond the Inner Development Program, in order to interiorize all the knowledge, she has achieved and the power it conveys to give back to society once more: “I can face the inner pain directly in the eye , and my healing started , living with love has some pain always , spirituality, is my path now I am walking after The Welbeing Project”

After more than 30 years of experience being arguably one of the best social leaders in Pakistan, we can say that Quratul Ain is one of the few people who dares to make a real change, not only towards the world but ultimately and most importantly within herself.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother and million ways to be a good one.” –Jill Churchill

“BECOMING THIS TOOL OF SOCIAL CHANGE IS MORE EFFECTIVE WHEN YOU HAVE DONE THIS INNER CHANGE.”“BECOMING THIS TOOL OF SOCIAL CHANGE IS MORE EFFECTIVE WHEN YOU HAVE DONE THIS INNER CHANGE.”

By Kildine de Saint Hilaire

Frank Hoffmann cannot simply be labeled as a social leader or a gynecologist. Frank is a person who feels responsibility for others. His profession exposes him to the life of a human from its unborn state to its older stage. The multiplication of breast cancer cases over the past years have spread like an epidemic, and very few solutions have been successfully tested. Frank realized that there is a specific gap between the ages of 30 and 35 when women should be diagnosed for breast cancer, because the earlier the tumor is detected, the more effective the treatment can be. Yet there were no sure techniques or tools that existed to improve the diagnosis.

In his quest to find a solution to this problem, Frank identified touch as the key to increasing the quality of the diagnosis for breast cancer. Who could he find with a very refined, sophisticated and developed sense of touch? The visually impaired. With his organisation ‘Discovering Hands’, established in 2004, Frank has revolutionised the early detection of breast cancer, thereby allowing for people with a disability to become valuable contributors to society.

The feeling of responsibility which remains a constant within Frank led him to become a social entrepreneur. This new chapter of his life was full of pressure, and he placed himself as the central figure of the entire operation. However, he lost his own personal balance throughout the process, and this impacted many domains of his life.

Frank accepted The Wellbeing Project’s offer to become a participant in the Inner Development Program, during which he focused on inner work and learned that awareness and mindfulness are an absolute necessity for him, and others. Learning to recognise our failures, difficulties and flaws and listening to ourselves can pivot the mind to new objectives.

“Becoming a tool of social change is more effective when you have done the inner change,” acknowledges Frank when looking back at the difficulties he was confronted with and the process of wellbeing he has accomplished. Furthermore, Frank recognises that if life had been different for him he would not be the person that he is today, and hopes to encourage others to accept the struggles and difficulties that present themselves on our journeys.

“My participation in The Wellbeing Project very promptly gave me new ideas on the topic of “inner work”, which developed during the individual and group work as part of our retreats to the most practical test stones for reframing of some basic life settings.

Despite my previous work on various crucial factors influencing my biography, I was able to experience a new effective and sustainable treatment of these problem areas, thus improving my inner work unexpectedly successfully.

Even as a scientifically qualified medical doctor, I did not manage to eliminate the critical barriers to true inner health before attending The Wellbeing Project. It was all the more amazing for me to realize how enduringly hindering just one subtle false belief can be.

It was all the more gratifying for me to find that even decades old wrong assumptions can be healed, if only the right frame conditions for an effective inner work are offered. It is the soul itself that thanks you for the (often painful) processing of these old conflicts. It thanks with an increase in energy for your daily work, a more stable health – and an irrepressible zest for life!” (Frank Hoffmann)

There is a fine line between being a healthy leader motivated by making a change, and a leader submerged by pressure and struggles with their own wellbeing. According to Frank, each human being has his or her own way to start and engage on their own process of wellbeing. The beauty is that it makes you grow and makes your difficulties part of your strength.

``LEARNING TO LOVE AND TREASURE BREATHING HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.” ``LEARNING TO LOVE AND TREASURE BREATHING HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.”

By Kildine de Saint Hilaire and Andrea Coleman

“I am English. Very English. We were taught, as we grew up, that showing your feelings drew disapproval. You must be strong, put on a brave face, show no weakness. The environment was tough for earlier generations. Not enough food, horrible cold, world wars, families separated and people working unreasonably hard during the industrial revolution. It was the way, those earlier generations thought: to make the young tough, resilient and they will survive. Provision of health care then was poor and mental health was treated by the expression ‘pull yourself together’.”

Andrea Coleman is a woman who inspires both admiration and motivation. Her achievements reveal her strengths, and her personality encourages kindness. Her journey has led her to develop Riders for Health, the organization she co-founded with her husband Barry Coleman in 1996. Andrea grew up believing that motorcycles were synonymous with the possibility of escaping. She embraced the motorcycle world to leave the place that she was in. “It was my route to freedom”, she explains when reflecting on her upbringing. Her first husband was a motorcyclist who had an accident while competing. After the accident, Andrea explains she was lost and did not know how to grieve, “I thought how to deal with grief was to be very busy and create something else.”

Andrea put all her effort and means into the creation of Riders for Health, an organisation that uses vehicles to deliver healthcare within multiple African countries. It defies a persisting status quo: the neglect of the use of vehicles in the field of development. With Riders for Health, vehicles are the pillar element. They bridge the distance between rural communities and health care. To say that building an organisation is a challenge is an understatement. It becomes a life mission that takes a lot out of those involved. “The last thing that I was doing was listening to myself,” explains Andrea, who suffered from anxiety and exhaustion. The more out of tune she was with her inner-self, the more Andrea was pushing her mind and body to exhaustion. Burnout has become the great epidemic of our generation, one that can have extreme consequences on individuals and their surroundings. Always pushing more and further can only last for a certain time and to a certain extent.”

“During The Wellbeing Project I realised I have been holding my breath for my whole life. Learning to love and treasure breathing has changed my life.”

As a participant in The Wellbeing Project’s Inner Development Program, Andrea decided to learn how to confront and deal with her internal angst. First, Andrea approached the language of wellbeing. Second, she delved into a research and understanding of the meaning behind the dialect of wellbeing. By giving herself the time to reflect on these concepts and how to adapt them to her life, she gained confidence and a significant change of attitude towards others. Andrea took part in a journey of self-exploration starting from within that came to have an extensive reach towards her outside world.

“I had no idea if I would be accepted onto the program and I had no idea what it would mean or if it would or could be helpful. But I knew I had to find some way to manage the pain I was experiencing. With my English background I found it hard to accept the idea of loving myself but I found out how to love the gifts I have been given, to know that caring for myself is not something to be ashamed of and to feel the same sympathy for myself as I would for others. I was taught the mechanism to find peace in looking at the sky at night, in the trees around me and to rest into the knowledge that there are people who love me. And I am worth being loved.”

Regarding her learnings, Andrea comments she discovered, “how to relate to people in a way I didn’t know how to before.” In addition, she has learned to let herself do things she enjoys and that make her happy. The emotion of guilt is no longer part of the equation. Andrea gives her personal take on wellbeing as a process that enabled her to feel capable and acquire a balance between responsibility and self-care.

“I hope I will always be open to accepting new ways of being as a result of my experience and I hope that I can continue to help others to be open to it too.“

Since her experience with The Wellbeing Project, Andrea has developed a new project: Two Wheels For Life. The organisation aims to develop and fundraise for Riders for Health and focus on motorcycles to ensure that life-saving healthcare reaches those in need. Wellbeing is a constant learning for Andrea. It offers her alignment and confidence while she remains the ambitious change-maker she is at her core.

“NOW MY WORK COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, WHICH IS A FAR GREATER ENERGY.” “NOW MY WORK COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, WHICH IS A FAR GREATER ENERGY.”

By Michael Sani and Kildine de Saint Hilaire

“To each their own” is not just a saying, it’s a reality. We all have our own ways to find motivation and drive. Some find it within themselves, while others seek outward sources of inspiration. Michael Sani had his own way: identifying repressed emotions and transforming them into constructive energy. “I can use the pain to do good.” But to what extent? For how long? How sustainable is this process?

Growing up in a culture where addressing feelings was not welcome, Michael became alienated from his inner self. A cleavage grew between himself and the image of himself he portrayed. As he found his professional path, he put his all into it in order to make an impact. There were cycles of highs and lows, with serious questions regarding the worth of it all. Yet he continued, always. The fear of regret motivated him to push further. But at what cost? Over time, a result-focused mind makes one less proficient and blind to emotions from the surroundings and the inner self. “I wouldn’t even take in the moments of success, because it was next thing, next thing, next thing…”

There comes a time in life to address what has been subdued. Suppressed emotions are like weights that one carries around. They eventually take a toll on one’s journey by impeding our emotional movement and making development almost impossible. Acknowledging that problems and solutions are both present within all of us may be the beginning to all progress.

“I was very judgmental of myself.”

Michael joined The Wellbeing Project programme with one main intention: to learn how to love. Today, communication and vulnerability are at the center of his interactions with himself and others. It all comes from within. Being driven by love rather than hatred and giving himself the time to listen rather than sprinting aimlessly enabled him to find new sources of passion. “Now my work is from a place of love, which is a far greater energy.” The strength that Michael found from within allows him to start overcoming his personal issues and turning outward. From repression he has become vulnerable. And from vulnerability he has found a new clarity on life, his relationships with others and himself.

“Like many new or unknown things life, the start is often the scariest part. Allowing pre-conceptions to flow through my mind and in terms of my well being, to challenge everything I had ever known. I had grown up with the mantra ‘cry, cry alone. Smile and the world smile’s with you’. Most of my friends would associate therapy or wellbeing as airy-fairy or for those who are weak. But I knew it was the right time for me.

Having said that, two years into a remarkable journey I have moments, honestly where I wish I had never started it. I say that because once you allow yourself to become aware, it’s very difficult to go back to just ignoring your emotions and repressing your frustrations. You start to unpack things, go deeper and allow yourself to explore things in the past so they can no longer have a hold over you now or in your future. That comes with the acceptance that it will get harder before the work pays off and you are using consciously and unconsciously all the tools available to weather any storm. It takes commitment.

It’s not easy when it’s not something you are naturally accustomed too, if your family home wasn’t one of exploration and vulnerability and if school didn’t create that safe space to share and own your truth. At the same time, it has been one of the most worthwhile experiences of my whole life. I am stronger for becoming vulnerable. I am kinder to myself and have a greater understanding of others.

This work has empowered me and I hope to empower others to see the value in their own well-being journeys, not fearing what they might discover or have to revisit but just to start.”

Michael Sani is the social entrepreneur CEO of ‘Bite the Ballot’; he is revolutionising youth democratic participation in the political realm.

“WHEN WELLBEING CAME, I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT…I SAID OK.” “WHEN WELLBEING CAME, I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT…I SAID OK.”

By Alana Cookman and Caroline Casey

‘Wellbeing gave me a place to stop hiding, under this archetype of positivity, solutions and being a social entrepreneur, a survivor’.

Caroline Casey, knows what it’s like to live a life pretending to be something you’re not. Except in her case, she didn’t even know she was pretending until her 17th birthday, when she found out she was legally blind. Because of her parents’ brave and unusual decision not to tell her, Caroline wasn’t actually pretending; she was just living the life of a young, able person. Without the labels and the special assistance that came with being visually impaired or disabled, Caroline grew up with the true belief that she could live out her dreams and ambitions, the same as everyone else.
At 28, Caroline was working as a Global Management Consultant with Accenture, in a highly pressurised, always-on, competitive environment, where her positive yet persistent, nature served her well – when her eyesight worsened and she had to ask for help. Something most people find daunting enough. But for Caroline this ask for help led to the start of a whole new life journey, one where she was forced to question everything she’d built around herself and her identity and to focus on who she really was and what she really truly wanted to do.

‘It’s so much more peaceful to live in an integrated way that allows you to be the same person that turns up in front of a camera as you are in front of your Mum’.

Caroline’s life now is about creating a movement in the global business community to recognise, embrace and cater for the 1.3 billion people – currently classified as disabled – as valuable employees, customers and members of the community. What started with a solo 1,000km trek across India on elephant back in 2001, raising €250k for The National Council for the Blind of Ireland and Sightsavers, Caroline is now the founder of the Ability Awards and Binc, engaging business leadership to create an inclusive world for the people affected by disability, who are all human beings with the potential and ability to contribute. Binc’s activity has reached over 810 million people. After The Wellbeing Project she founded #valuable which aims and ensuring business recognition towards the value and worth of people working with disability across the full supply chain

Caroline credits her own, often difficult yet transformative inner wellbeing journey and experience with The Wellbeing Project, with becoming significantly more courageous, joyful and adventurous. This ongoing journey is having a profound effect on her social change work;

“The past 10 years of my life had been incredibly difficult and unconsciously I had defaulted to “positive warrior “ mode to get through – focusing on doing – fighting to make things right – making up for what I had seen in the past as failures – achieving “despite the circumstances”.Through my experience as part of the Well-being programme I began the processing of “letting go” and softening. I got to see my joy and crazy wonderful ideas and dreams through the eyes of other people and I heard maybe for the first time, that I, like everyone else, am “enough”.

This has had a profound effect on the way I work and what I do. Since Wellbeing I found the courage again to go “big and global” despite the risk of failure, and I did it with the spirit of adventure, joy and magic – something I had forgotten along the way.

In finally challenging my sense of self worth and value I believe our work has become more powerful, meaningful, honest and impactful. I genuinely like and trust myself more than I have in a long time, because I am seeing all of myself with a big dose of the compassion we give to others. I have reignited the passion and love for my work and rediscovered my own uniqueness – and accepted it – all of it”

“I DON’T THINK THAT THERE IS ONE PERFECT TIME FOR SOMEBODY TO UNDERGO A PROCESS OF WELLBEING.” “I DON’T THINK THAT THERE IS ONE PERFECT TIME FOR SOMEBODY TO UNDERGO A PROCESS OF WELLBEING.”

By Kabir Vajpeyi and Jacquelyn Salvador

There are moments in life when we become acutely, almost obsessively focused on what we’re doing. This focus can be useful for making progress in specific areas, but it can also cause us to forget about the context and other areas that are just as important. This is the issue Kabir Vajpeyi ran into when he became enveloped by his work with learning and child development. He’d been neglecting the human element — both within himself and for others. Slowly but surely, the pressure that he put on himself began to make it difficult to relate to people, and left him feeling rushed and worn down.

“If someone said they weren’t feeling well, my thought wasn’t how to take care of them,” Kabir explains, “it was ‘who’s going to finish this job.’”

His self-imposed drive to work and make progress also prevented him from spending time and connecting with his family. He worked late, and he noticed his personality taking a turn for the worse as the demand increased and took a toll on his energy and emotions. It was Kabir’s wife who finally expressed her mounting concerns for his wellbeing, which led to Kabir’s participation in The Wellbeing Project. Within the program’s community of support and wellness-centered retreats for entrepreneurs and changemakers, Kabir came face-to-face with the importance of taking care of his own wellbeing. He realized that it was critical in order to make a greater impact through his work.

“I was spending something so precious and tender, rather ruthlessly – life.

To me, the well-being journey has been literally a poignant, beautiful pause. A pause to stay still, sit down, look inside, feel, become aware and nourish my inner-being. And moving on with heightened self-awareness, repose and quietude, profoundly more sensitivity and responsiveness in life.

It made me focus on myself, without any guilt. I understood that working on self is not being self-centric. In fact, it is the most unique and beautiful gift to oneself and everyone around.

Earlier my work was my only identity. Now, this is no longer true. Now, at first, I am human being – a son, a brother, a classmate, a husband, a father…a friend.

Earlier my relationship with everyone was largely functional or work-centric. I would find myself helpless and even hopeless on matters related to relationship. With uncompromising support of some of the most outstanding resource persons at the Well-being project, I was able to work on almost all my significant relationships – with my own self, my attitudes, with my immediate and larger family, my friends, my neighbours, my colleagues at work, my work.

Later, on my own, I worked with my clients and everyone whom I meet every day. I discovered the value of being humane, kind and compassionate with everyone. I now practice it. It has made a huge difference in the quality of my relationships with everyone. This is now positively impacting not just me, but with almost everyone whom I am engaging at personal, social or professional level.

I discovered that I cannot change the world at all. Unless I change, nothing will change around me. I must be able to take responsibility and not blame others. To begin with, the one thing I can immediately change is, how I respond to what is going on around me. Matters may not have changed much in substance around me, but now, rather than reacting, I am able to sensitively contemplate and respond to it. I have become better at it. This has reduced my stress and anxiety substantially and I am able to respond to most difficult situations rather calmly – with greater sensitivity and patience.

I took upon a meditation practice and this has qualitatively changed the way now I feel and think. This has fundamentally changed my state from being anxious and stressed to being aware and peaceful. It has also changed how I engage with different people; how I work – how I am able to find solutions, contemplate and deliver them to the society and the government.

I realized that well-being is not just for me. It is everyone, everywhere in the nature. I cannot keep it to myself. If I am able to experience and live it, so could everyone around me too. I am striving for this at my own level.

I know that it’s a journey worth continuing…”

In looking back, one of the most interesting revelations Kabir had from The Wellbeing Project was that the greatest work and progress was made not by focusing on the work itself, but by shifting toward a focus on the participant’s deeper needs and elements. In fact, even though he and the other participants were all deeply involved in and committed to their work, they rarely ever talked about work during their participation in The Wellbeing Project. That’s what created such a nurturing atmosphere for change and growth. The ability to slow down and really focus on the human element created a powerful foundational shift within Kabir. He’s now seen firsthand the importance of inner wellbeing, which enables us to do our greatest good. That element has created positive effects in his personal emotions, his relationships, his work interactions and his overall work.

Kabir is now a strong advocate of taking action to set the process of wellbeing into motion, whenever and wherever we notice that need. “You don’t need to first burn out and then get into [wellbeing],” Kabir offers as encouragement, “whenever you realize its significance, that’s when to start realizing who you are, what is inside you, what you can offer.”

“WE LIVE SOMETIMES IN A WAY THAT WE ARE NOT AWARE OF MANY OF THE THINGS THAT WE GO THROUGH.”“WE LIVE SOMETIMES IN A WAY THAT WE ARE NOT AWARE OF MANY OF THE THINGS THAT WE GO THROUGH.”

By Bedriye Hülya and Jacquelyn Salvador

Sometimes in our lives there are things that are painfully obvious to others but that we ourselves don’t entirely notice. This was exactly the case for Bedriye Hülya when she first set out on her entrepreneurial path. Forcing herself into a role that felt suffocating and somehow “off”, she was so determined to make things work that she was unable to perceive some of the glaring problems caused by this approach. Bedriye describes this time as like trying to fit into a dress that was clearly not her size, with growing frustration that came to poison other areas of her life.

“There was something very precious that I was spending mindlessly: time. I was spending time on things that I really didn’t enjoy and wasn’t good at. And feeling frustrated not knowing why. I was thinking that I would never be able to get rid of my frustration and that urgent feeling. Then along came the Wellbeing Project…

It was not easy to face my own truth during our retreats. With patience and tools that helped me to see from different perspectives, today I am looking at my three businesses and consciously keeping out of the way so they can try new things and unfold their strengths, sometimes stopping myself from showing them what to do and mostly enjoying the surprise that they are evolving into different outcomes than I might have thought. And I am free. There is always another way, and it starts with taking care of oneself.”

Bedriye finally took action to face the reality of the situation and the effects were enormous, both within and all around her. Starting with herself, she came face to face with many traumas and losses that she had not reflected on for so long. She now looks back on that period with a valuable perspective that informs her steps moving forward, reaching and changing more lives and building a momentum that sprang from simple personal awareness and insight. And her favorite part? That the process never ends. At any point in time there is always an opportunity to keep making a positive impact, both for ourselves and for the world around us.

Bedriye’s work with B-Fit has impacted over 800 000 women across 200 sports and healthy living centers in Turkey.